Monday, March 23, 2009

Memory Lane Monday #5

This is the most nerve-grinding, nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying MLM to date but I feel it's necessary:

Le Freak by Chic

Why? Why in God's name you might ask I choose such a crap-tacular song for my one precious weekly song? It's for the same reason anybody in America does anything, really. Because I've got a political soapbox to get on and holler from!

Background story on this song. Several years ago, I'd guess about 5, my baby sister Jenna and I were shopping at the Old Navy in Fargo when this song came on. You might be asking yourself what we classy ladies were doing at Old freaking Navy but I must remind you I was 21 (give or take) at the time and Jenna was pretty much a zygote.

Anyways, this song came on and we could have swore that the song says "Awww....FREAK OUT....something something....say shit". To which we replied "How can one say 'say shit' at Old Navy?!" But after looking up the lyrics (yes, to this day I still kind of thought they said 'say shit' but knew it could not be so) they in fact say "Awww....FREAK OUT....Le Freak...C'est Chic" as if that makes a damn bit of sense. I don't speak freaky deaky French.

Now: My afformentioned political soapbox. The same little sister who was but a sperm fertilized egg half a decade ago (hyperbole, much?) is now all grown up, and driving pickup trucks like the good little cowgirl she is. And today she crashed that pickup truck, and rolled it two times. And she was wearing her seatbelt. Ergo, the worst she got was 4 stitches in her lip.

In 2004, the most recent year in which my lazy self could find statistics, there were 42,636 road deaths in the USA. Care to guess how many of those were because of non-use of seatbelts? I have no idea. I'm not going to look that up. But my barely-educated guess would be A Shit Load.

So the moral of the story here is wear your seatbelt. You'd be absolutely stupid not to. It seems like every single week I read an article in the newspaper about somebody under 30 (under 25 or 20 even) who is killed in a car crash. And the writers, bless their souls, go to great lengths to say ominously "he was not wearing a seatbelt". And yet people still don't learn! It blows the mind.

Bottom line: Wear your seatbelt = live. Don't wear your seatbelt = die. It's your choice. I'm glad my little sis, at just shy of 20, made the choice to live. I knew I didn't change those diapers for nothing! Love ya, squaw baby.

Afterthought: It would have been totes appropriate to have Joe Diffie's fabulous tune Pickup Man as my MLM #5 song, especially since Jenna's the biggest country bumpkin I know, but I thought I would annoy the crap out of you all with this say shit song. I could only make it through half. Anybody who makes it start to finish deserves a medal!

Afterthought #2: I was writing "will post pic of pickup when I get it" and wham, James sent it along. Feast your eyes on this next time you say "meh, I don't need to wear my seatbelt":

I'd say 4 stitches is a pretty small price to pay for taking a dirt bath in this big red beaut.

Seatbelts save lives! And I'm out.

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