Sunday, October 21, 2018

EuroTrip 2018 Part 4: Road Trip in Ireland

With one week of a three week vacation unaccounted for we searched for a third destination to round out our time in Europe.

So many Europportunities!  Italy!  South of France!  Greece!  But ultimately we chose...


...the Emerald Isle!

Apparently freezing to death and getting soaking wet in the middle of "summer" is our jam.

I had been to Dublin for a few days during my study abroad semester (many, many moons ago) but Martin had never been before.  So we had a perfectly legitimate excuse to choose Ireland as our third and final European destination.  That and a reunion with these two legends:


Laura and BJ fled the sunny shores of Brisbane (as most do) a few years ago and have landed in New York City.  BJ's parents are still here so they visit somewhat regularly and they came to our wedding in November.  I braved the heat to visit them in 2016, and after rereading that post I won't say another word about how cold it was on this trip.  In fact I welcome the chill.

Irish wet and cold > NYC summer heat

They had a wedding in Dublin the weekend after ours in Mallorca so we decided to spend the weekdays in between the two doing this:


Road trip!

A road isn't worth tripping without the ultimate Irish play list.

I carefully curated a list of songs by Irish artists, or songs in some way related to Ireland.  I think anybody can see the play list here even if you don't have a Spotify account.  If that doesn't work, be wowed by this sample (with links to YouTube):

Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
Linger by The Cranberries
Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2
The Galway Girl by Steve Earle
C'est la Vie by B*Witched
When You Say Nothing at All by Ronan Keating of Boyzone
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
Whiskey in the Jar by Metallica
I'm Shipping Up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys

I dare say this is the finest collection of Irish tunes ever compiled with each song kicking more ass than the next.  You are welcome!

Here's the fairly ambitious route we took, starting in Cork and ending in Dublin:


We started in Cork because that's where we could get a direct flight from Mallorca, where we were warmly welcomed at the airport by a hallway of portraits of random redheads:


A lovely and quirky Irish touch to kick off our travels.

We immediately dropped our luggage upon arrival and hit the town for the only thing that must be accomplished in Ireland:


Recognize this?  If you guessed Guinness you are incorrect!

Apparently Guinness is a Dublin stout, and down in Cork they drink the local version, Murphy's.  There's also a third Cork brand called Beamish, which is also acceptable.  But whatever you do, don't ask for a Guinness in Cork!  You will be chased out of town.

I know this insider information because of our local tour guide, my friend Kris from our Edinburgh days.


Most of our friends from that time came out of Martin's class but I've got a few people of my own tucked away in my back pocket for reunions such as this.

Kris escorted us along the banks of the River Lee:


To a number of different local pubs.


To enjoy many pints of Murphy's and Beamish!  And learn more about life in Cork, which was great.  I appreciate a locals perspective so much when traveling.

After multiple pints of stout, Kris's #1 Cork recommendation was getting our hands on a hot chicken roll, local drunk food of choice.


I shouldn't even give Centra the free advertisement, because these turds turned us away at the door like street urchins.  Not because we were drunk (come on, it's Ireland - you're as likely to be drunk as you are to be pasty skinned) but because they were closing a supposedly 24/7 store.  We found another shop open to serve us first hot chicken roll, but it kind of sucked.  The bread was old and it was pretty dry.  As far as cultural food experiences (my personal fave kind of experience) this one was a bummer.

However Kris redeemed his recommendation skills the next day, where he directed us to a breakfast restaurant for a bit of soakage (food to soak up the previous nights booze) with a "Full Irish".


I can't for the life of me figure out what the difference between a full Irish and a full English is, but I suspect it has something to do with the number of potato sides included.  My personal favorite is breakfast beans (which to me taste like Spaghetti-O sauce) and I've never turned my nose up at black pudding before (yes, that's made from blood).

It did the trick!  With our bellies full we were feeling on top 'o the world to hit the road and start our journey around the island.

Cobh


Laura was inspired to visit this little town by colorful pictures on Instagram.  The lack of sun makes for duller pictures in real life, but it was a cute, picturesque little place.



Not-so-fun fact: Cobh (then known as the Queenstown) was the final stop of the Titanic before it departed for open ocean, sinking four days later.  There's a memorial for the victims:


You know damn well that all passengers from this departure point would have been in steerage, and had no chance of survival on that ritzy ship.  Sad.

Kinsale



This exceedingly colorful little town was recommended to us so we went out of our way and wandered the streets and enjoyed the ocean view from the nearby hilltop fort.


The most notable part of our stop in Kinsale was the first opportunity to get my sausage fingers on a bag of this:


Tayto is the local potato chip of choice in Ireland, one of a million ways to enjoy the almighty potato.  It's tasty enough but with a long history of chip eating in both the USA and Norway, which both have exceptional selections, I wouldn't say it was an earth shattering experience.  But that didn't stop us from tearing through all 8 bags!

"Ring of Kerry"

Let this next bit be a cautionary tale to all of you laissz-faire travelers out there.

We spent the whole morning taking our sweet time, wandering around and checking out places that weren't necessarily a priority for us.  Basically, we didn't do proper research on this trip and were winging it completely.  To the point that we missed out on doing the #1 thing we were planning to do!



The Ring of Kerry is a 179 kilometer (111 mile) loop around a peninsula in the southwest of the country, which shouldn't take too long to travel, right?  Wrong.

If you've done any research, any research at all like clicking the Trip Advisor page you will see that circumnavigating it is - as the very first review states - A LONG and FULL Day.  So rocking up to the tourist information center at 2pm thinking you can do the entire loop is...not within the realm of possibility.  And also idiotic and rather embarrassing.  So on to Plan B that is achievable in one afternoon.

Killarney National Park



Located on the Ring of Kerry, but not more than an hour into it is the lovely and picturesque Killarney National Park.  If you're pressed for time due to your own negligence I can highly recommend the various stops, views and lookouts.





It really was lovely, especially since the sun made a rare appearance.  You can go inside the Ross Castle if you are so inclined to pay an entrance fee.


But honestly we didn't care much, and were more interested in trying to capture a "leprechaun jump" successfully on camera.


Which is even more impossible than traveling the Ring of Kerry in half a day (and I suspect twice as fun).

The one hour in and one hour out we spent driving was rough going.  The roads are ridiculously narrow and winding, and you are sharing the road with jagged rock walls and tons of traffic, including gigantic tour buses.  It was so stressful, and we barely did any of the loop.  If I ever successfully circumvent the Ring of Kerry in my life it damn well better be from the comfort of a bus driven by a professional.

Killarney

By pure coincidence another dearly departed Brisbane friend was in Ireland at the same time as the four of us.  Laura and I visited Olena on that wretchedly hot trip to New York and in Melbourne many moons ago.  We had the foresight to coordinate a night in the same town, but not the foresight to whip out a camera and get a shot of all of us together.  Oops!

We wandered around town and had a micro brewed stout, because where there's tradition, hipsters will follow.  We had a delightfully traditional dinner surrounded by geriatric tourists with ne'er a hipster in sight before hitting the town, where the rarest event in the history of mankind happened.


Live music that I didn't hate!  I have negative tolerance for loud, shitty music played at high volume.  But even I must admit these guys were playing some legit music.  I would always prefer a nice, quiet pub where conversation can flow freely but even I agree this experience was pretty enjoyable.

We awoke the next morning and headed north, and to save ourselves time driving along the jagged coastline we got on a car ferry, where we ran into Olena again by total chance.


My goodness this place is so crazy small!  And finally we got our picture together.  There is a well defined tourist trail in Ireland, so it's not the craziest coincidence to run into her again unplanned, but it's still pretty wild.

Kind of like the weather.  Raining, cold, windy; all around miserable probably because there was nothing separating us from Newfoundland, Canada but the Atlantic ocean.  That's not a complaint.  Better to be cold than hot!

Loop Head Lighthouse


This could have offered some nice views, if the visibility reached beyond a few dozen feet.

We took our time driving up the west coast since we had a better handle on what we were doing than yesterday and the time investment required.  We made stops along the way when the mood struck us.  And the farther north we went, the shittier the weather got.


Then shittier.


And shittier still.


Until finally we reached our destination.

Cliffs of Moher



Thank you, random dude with a Flickr account, for providing a decent photo which I was not able to get myself.  Because the weather was total SHIT!


I think I can safely say it is the shittiest weather I have ever experienced in my entire life.  Not just rain, but wind and cold.  In the middle of June!  When we had been sweating in Norway mere weeks before.


The rain and wind was so fearsome you couldn't even see the cliffs because your glasses were so plastered with rain they were more useless than your poor eyesight.


Tell us how you really feel, Laura.


But you know what?  We had so much fun.  We laughed so hard, even though we didn't dare do the sightseeing boat tour we had planned and our underwear was soaked completely through.

We spent our last night together in Galway staying warm and dry and enjoying sweet, sweet redemption of the hot chicken roll variety.


Oh my goodness this is amazing drunk food!  Or sober food.  Or food to be eaten at any time of day alongside Tayto chips.  Also known as a chicken fillet roll, it is so simple yet so delicious.  Deep fried chicken of dubious origin, cheese, mayo, lettuce and bread.  Perfection, and so much more dignified than a greasy, dingy kebab (which I also love).  A+ drunk food, Ireland.  I don't know how I ever doubted you in this area.

Dublin

Onto our final destination we parted ways with BJ and Laura as they had wedding events to attend and we, too, had important, overdue business.


Finally we arrived in the right place!

Actually, that was Martin's local activity of choice.  I am entirely embarrassed to admit that I spent a ridiculous amount of time here:


Primark, like H&M, only half the price and a thousand times better.  In Ireland it's called Penny's (though half the signage still says Primark, which is odd) and I am ashamed-slash-proud to admit that I made multiple shopping trips here in the 48 hours I was in Dublin.  My summer wardrobe thanks me for my service, as I did get quite a few awesome things for cheap.

We did spend time actually seeing the city, I promise.

Molly Malone statue


The tart with the cart.  The trollop with the scallop.  Molly is a fictional fishmonger character with her boobs hanging way out so the poor girl takes a fair bit of groping.  Notice how her chest is discolored compared to the rest of her body.  #HerToo

Temple Bar


Not one actual bar, this area of town is filled with pubs and tourists.  If you are a 21-year-old American study abroad student trust me, this place will be your jam.

If you are a 35-year-old expat, however, it's more your scene for the restaurants.  We love the show Bizarre Foods: Delicious Destinations from the Travel Channel and the Dublin episode taught us about the traditional dish called boxty served many places but especially at Gallaghers Boxty House.


Boxty is a potato pancake, but not like a latke, more like a crepe that can be stuffed and topped with various tasty things.  It's probably the number one thing you must eat in Ireland (though there are a lot of contenders - I'm looking at you, hot chicken roll).  This is the only dish I'm aware of that comes with its own poem:

Boxty on the griddle
Boxty in the pan
If you can't make boxty

You'll never get a man

And speaking of needing a good man!

Oscar Wilde Memorial


This bloke loved his blokes.

St Stephen's Green




This lovely little park has something for everyone, depending on employment status.  You can people watch, eat your takeaway lunch, bird watch, drink booze out of a paper bag or sleep until the cops kick you out.

EPIC The Irish Emigration Museum



I am ridiculously interested in migration and the stories of people who left one home for another.  This is a nifty little interactive museum that tells the stories of Irish who left because they wanted to or because they were forced to.


In preparation for my trip I read Angela's Ashes, but due to our piss poor journey planning I missed a drive through Limerick where most of the book takes place.  It's the story of a family who left and came back to Ireland, but it's pretty freaking obvious they should have stayed gone (if they wanted to not die).  Based on this book and the volatile modern day economy I seriously need to be convinced that Ireland and the Irish people aren't cursed.  Because right now I am on the fence.

Our final Dublin stop was my #1 and only priority to see in the whole country, and unlike the Cliffs of Moher it did not disappoint!

Trinity College Library


It is so big and so cool!  It's actually a working library but you can't go up into the stacks yourself.  This also houses the Book of Kells, which is a religious text that I can't really grasp regardless of how many times I read the Wikipedia page.


A must do in Dublin, but I recommend you book your tickets in advance.  When we saw the line for general admission we went on our phones and booked tickets for the next available timed entry.  It took us the exact same amount of time, so we could've saved a half hour if we knew when to show up.

And that was our whirlwind workday Irish road trip!  Ireland is so vividly green and beautiful, but I feel that if we had been there on our own I would not have had nearly such a good a time.  We laughed with Laura and BJ for four days straight, which was the highlight for me.  Without them I think I would've gotten sick of the weather and constant driving.  BYOFriends to Ireland!  But full disclosure I am not a road tripper at heart.

Thus ends our three weeks in Europe.  It was fantastic to be back and see everyone, many of which had been to our wedding 7 months prior, but you never get to spend a decent amount of time with anyone at your own wedding.  And we majorly realized something on this trip.  While three weeks isn't an unreasonably long time to be away on vacation it is way too long to be away from Matilda!  Our hearts were hurting by the end, and I think when we all got back home we loved her (and she loved us) a little bit more.

Who knows if we'll take a trip this long again for the rest of her life!

Monday, September 3, 2018

EuroTrip 2018 Part 3: Wedding in Mallorca, Spain

Let me set the scene before I begin: there are 16 states in Germany.

The joke is that Mallorca, one of the Balearic Islands off the coat of Spain, is the 17th German state.  The joke is...not wrong.

Literally every German I've ever met has been to Mallorca multiple times.  So it's only fitting that when two Germans wed each other, Mallorca is where they do it.

Philipp & Lara
I hadn't seen Lara since last year and Philipp since our last trip to Europe.  But more on them and their exquisite nuptials later.  First there are sights to see and food to eat!

After several hours of delay spent sitting on the floor of the Barcelona airport, we finally arrived to Palma de Mallorca a short 40-minute flight later.  It was much later than we had planned to arrive, so our first and only order of business for the night was to sit down for a good feed.

Little did we know this meal would be the crown jewel of the entire trip!


We had eaten plenty of tapas in Barcelona, but this was the first time we had the evil genius idea to eat a main dish on top of tapas.  We rolled out of that place, and it was absolutely delightful.  I can't recommend it enough!

The next day in the afternoon we were booked in for the bucks and hens parties.  That's bachelor and bachelorette parties for the Yanks in the audience.  That left us with exactly one morning to wander the tiny, adorable streets of Palma to see the sights.


Cathedral of Mallorca & Royal Palace of La Almudaina 




Until I researched for this post, I had no idea that the cathedral and palace were two separate places because they're right next to each other and look almost identical.  From my 30 second Google search, I think one is on the left, and the other is on the right here:


But I couldn't tell you which is which!  We had no time to do any deep exploration, but we got our first glimpse of the Balearic Sea, where some of us would later spend the afternoon.


Arab Baths

Few historical sites sound more awesome than ancient baths, so we coughed up the 5 Euro to go visit them.  Little did we know it was all dried up and what was left was just a garden.


And a fancy doorway.


Nice enough, but not quite the ancient mini waterfalls I had in mind.

Y'all know how I live a good, Christian life so no trip could be complete without a stop to see my girls at the...

Santa Clara Convent


Except I saw no nuns, boo!  So as far as I'm concerned this was just a regular 'ol church.

With our city center touring time over we got cleaned up and went our gender separated ways for an afternoon, evening and night of boozing.

The ladies started at the bride's hotel to surprise her after a massage.


Kindly note I am literally the only person in that photo who does not speak German.  The only one!  There's the odd foreigner who moved there and learned the language, and a few Germans who actually spoke zero English!  It was a wild, new experience for me and entirely predictable on Mallorca.

We then went to a leisurely, boozy dinner which my fat ass only took pictures of the food so we'll skip right to the cocktail making course.


This bar was right near the beach, but alas our day of boozing was strictly an indoor affair while the boys were boozing with this view:


Less than an hour into the festivities we got word that the groom was blowing chunks...from sea sickness.  Poor guy!


Meanwhile back inside we convinced the bartender to take his shirt off.


That was our wild encounter for the night.  Except for the absolute madness that is Bierkonig.

The Beer King
It's hard to put into words what this place is, or what it's like.  It's a beer garden-slash-nightclub and the most Eurotrash drinking establishment in the entire universe.


If I were 18 (and German) I would have loved this place!  But alas I am a 35 Ameri-straylian and to say it is not my scene is an understatement.  But I actually didn't hate it - mainly because there were lots of food outlets (those Germans know their kebabs) and due to the sheer size of the place, ample seating.


It was far too loud, though.  Get off my lawn!

The next day off we went to the other side of the island, closer to where the wedding was held.  We stayed in the small resort town of Can Picafort and shared an Airbnb with 7 friends who were Martin's classmates in Edinburgh.


Not everyone was able to make it to the bachelor/ette parties, so with everyone reunited (bride and groom excluded) what to do for our first night all together?


More paella!  With a lovely sea view.


But the ruckus was kept to a bare minimum so we could look fresh and fly at the main event the next day.

All our ceremony pictures are just garbage, so let me wow you with pictures of the incredible wedding venue, which was nothing short of stunning.







This was the first wedding I've attended after my own.  Now I get to play a fun game of "This Is Awesome, Why Didn't I Do That?!" at every wedding I attend for the rest of my life.  Exhibit A:

Hilarious, ancient picture of Marv and I
They printed off hundreds of hard copy pictures, artfully tied with twine, to leave on the tables for people to browse throughout dinner.  They were categorized by table number, so you only got pictures relevant to your friend group and didn't have to sift through stacks of pictures of people you don't know.

This was a genius idea and so much fun!  They rummaged through well over 1,000 pictures to select the best ones for printing.  As a bonus, we took them home as party favors.  If you're planning a wedding you have to do this!  I imagine it took a ton of time and effort but the results were so incredibly worth it.  Weddings are a time for drunken trips down Memory Lane.

The food rocked and the booze was flowing.  Speeches were almost exclusively in German but not nearly as lengthy or painful as they have been known to be in the past.  And my personal fave, the hanky wave to usher in the new husband and wife!


Not to be outdone by sparklers for their first dance.


We partied hard until 3 in the goddamn morning.  I don't even remember the last time I stayed up until 3 a.m., much less partied until then!  We were transported back to our grad school glory days, inching rapidly towards a decade ago, for one hell of a night.

The next day for those of us still around the couple hosted a dinner, which was at the same place we dined on our first night in Can Picafort and conveniently located just minutes from our Airbnb.


Same venue, same great view.


And same menu!


I travel through food, so I can safely say I have done Mallorca (and by extension of that, Spain) justice.

The bride and groom live in Singapore practically right next door to Brisbane (in Aussie terms an 8 hour direct flight is right next door).

I need to go visit these two, soon!

Besides this EuroTrip we haven't gone anywhere or seen anything this year (for perfectly valid reasons - uno y dos) so I'm starved for a bit of adventure.  Plus, like with any wedding you don't get a substantial amount of time with the couple so we're well overdue.

Philipp and Lara are too much fun and live too close not see more often.  Here they are at our wedding in November:


We need to figure out an Asia-Pac reunion.  Soon!