Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
It allows you to go from any type of plug-in to any type of plug-in, which is a necessity for me because I have no less than three countries worth of electrical equipment. This baby is the best $30 I ever spent at Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport - Charles Lindbergh terminal (and I have never met a burrito I could resist, so I've spent a lot of $30 there).
The aforementioned 27 hours of travel did not take into account waiting at the Oslo airport for hours, praying to the sweet baby Jesus that our flight would actually take off. Adding this in, our total travel time was closer to 30 hours. I will not include our stay at the airport hotel in our total travel time because that was a pretty sweet stay, albeit lacking a much wanted bathtub.
So the following posts make sense, our flights were:
1. Oslo to Frankfurt
2. Frankfurt to Singapore
3. Singapore to Brisbane
We awoke at 5 a.m. on Monday for our 7:40 first flight. There were ground crew strikes at the Frankfurt airport the previous Thursday and Friday, which resulted in me threatening bodily harm on anybody who dares strike and interrupt my travel plans come Monday.
There were strikes come Monday.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
We were flying SAS from Oslo to Frankfurt, and several Lufthansa flights before and after ours were already cancelled by the time we got to the airport, pre-6 a.m. Not a good sign.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
We checked in our luggage and, at that point, all was well with our flight. Bonus points for us, both our suitcases came in 2 kg under weight.
It should be mentioned that when we realized there were strikes at Frankfurt we decided to go straight to the airport and forego the hotel breakfast, which I had been really looking forward to. As I have mentioned before, hotel breakfasts in Scandinavia are a true delicacy. My belly was too filled with fear and loathing to fill it with meatballs. Sad times.
As we waited for the flight to Frankfurt (or the ball to drop) the flight time changed from 7:40 to 8:30, chopping our leisurely two hour layover in Frankfurt down to one not-so-breezy hour. And that's assuming the flight wasn't delayed even further.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
But there were no further delays! We got boarded on the plane to Frankfurt in record time and were informed that our travel time was a good half hour less than planned. Sweet! But one caveat: It would take 55 minutes before we were allowed to take off. Turning our not-so-breezy hour layover in to no-chance-in-hell-your-ass-is-stuck-in-Frankfurt-for-at-least-ten-hours wait.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
At this time I feel it's appropriate to bring up my belief in “travel karma”. Whenever I see someone running at an airport or train station, I don't giggle and say “sucks to be you, sucka” or wish them ill. I physically send out karma vibes to them, however that's possible, so they don't miss their plane or train. I root so hard for that person to make their transport, in the hopes that I am rewarded in the future when I am in need of good karma.
And rewarded I was. We only had to sit on the tarmac for about a half hour, rather than the expected hour. If the plane landed on time (it did) and we got offboard (is that a thing?) in a timely manner (we did) and the immigration control lines weren't hellacious (they weren't) we'd make our flight to Singapore (we did).
When booking our journey we had two options of routing within Europe: Frankfurt or London Heathrow. It is my goal in life (no kidding; italics warranted) to never, ever, ever fly through Heathrow, the global clusterfuck of world transport. Plus, those British bastards strike all. the. time. No way was I choosing them over practical, efficient, obedient Germans.
How wrong I was.
We are very lucky to have made that connection, but many of our travel companions were not so lucky, which resulted in both of us having 2 seats to ourselves. Hahaha, sucks to be you, suckas! More space for us.
And that, folks, is an example of bad travel karma. Next time I go anywhere I'm screwed because I relished in the misery of others. The karma gods giveth, and the karma gods taketh away. Such is life.
An entire blog post and we've barely made it 2% in to the 30 hour journey. I'll save the rest for later. This 9 hour time difference ain't fun.
*faints dramatically on to couch*
Friday, February 17, 2012
And by flight I mean three flights (2 hours 10 minutes + 12 hours + 8 hours 10 minutes and that's not counting layovers). So I've gotten busy gathering shows and movies on iTunes, the totally legal entertainment downloading system that I pay for. Yes...iTunes, I'll go with that explanation.
Here is a glimpse of the super amazing, sometimes embarrassing, often woefully outdated entertainment that I plan to enjoy while rubbing my ass back to life after it fell asleep. Yes...to wake it from sleeping, I'll go with that explanation.
Will & Grace
Easy, easy, easily my favorite show of all time. Mainly because of Jack and Karen and the hilarity that they bring to the table, but uptight Will and harpy Grace will always have a special place in my heart.
That is...unless stupid sucky Leo is on screen ruining the entire show. In the words of the great Karen Walker, "He's dull, he's ugly and he don't make me laugh". Truer words have never been spoken! Leo ruined Will & Grace.
I don't find Harry Connick, Jr. unattractive but I loathe him on a personal level for taking my favorite show, the most hilarious awesome show of all time, and making it straight up suck. His character was clearly forced by the writers, having no chemistry with Grace and throwing off the mood and charm of the entire show. Usually this means I am forced to spend my Will & Grace energies on the first 4 seasons before Suckface McSuckerton shows up, but I will be feasting on season 7 during my travels, conveniently when Grace & Leo were divorced because he cheated on her which, eventually, Grace is totally cool with.
What the ever loving HELL?!?!?! Worst. Character. EVER!
There are precious few topics I am more passionate about than Leo's stupid appearance ruining Will & Grace. I could be fighting for human rights, or social justice, or environmental protection but nope, I use the fire that burns within me to bitch about a shitty character on a TV show that ended half a decade ago. If you hadn't guessed already, this planet is doomed. So let's move on to the next tasty morsel of entertainment.
Sex & the City
I purposely am using this old, grainy picture of the S&TC girls because I'm a sucker for nostalgia. I will be watching season 4, which aired in 2001/2002 which - holy shit - was a decade ago.
In this season Carrie is on-again-off-again with Aiden, whom I also have beef with for creating the Aiden (and general Hayden/Jayden/Schmlayden) baby naming craze of the early 00's. Painfully annoying, yes, but not enough to make me loathe the individual portraying the character (may you burn in hell, Harry Connick, Jr.).
Sam begins her relationship with Richard Wright, Charlotte's marriage to Trey MacViagara spirals down the toilet and Miranda gets knocked up by a bar keep. While the rest of America was busy giving their children ridiculous names life went on all hunky dory for the girls - until tragedy struck eight short years later.
That tragedy, of course, being that steaming pile of a movie they came out with to wring an extra buck out of the franchise. Kindly note that I am referring to the first movie here, not the second. I didn't even bother watching the sequel to the sequel for fear of permanent brain damage.
In the desperately-seeking-profit world of Sex & the City World Charlotte magically becomes fertile after years of infertility (which I predicted the second the movie was announced, *yawn*) and Miranda gets cheated on by the bar keep who knocked her up. Naturally, she was totally cool with this.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, what the ever loving HELL?!?!?!
At that point my brain shut off from what was happening on the screen, erased the previous 2 hours and the four girls will forever live in my mind as they did at the end of the glorious, magnificent, perfect series finale. Shitty movies? What shitty movies?
Should I be embarrassed to admit that I've never seen this movie? It's got quite a cult following and it was recently the sacred holiday of Groundhogs Day so I figured, why not? I'll be stuck in a metal tube for over a day so why not catch up on some classics that I missed.
I could write a book on the number of classics I have missed, as you will see.
Four Weddings & a Funeral (never seen) was on TV the other week, which got me thinking, what in the hell happened to Andie MacDowell's career? Let this be a lesson, Katherine-Reese-Jennifer-Sarah Jessica. The second that hot body of yours slips is the second the casting agents stop knocking on your door. Enjoy being insufferable on screen while you can, as it won't last forever.
How have I never seen Armageddon?! I don't know, especially when the name practically guarantees that I will love it. If the world is ending on film, there is no doubt I will enjoy watching it on screen. Bonus points for hoards of terrified citizens running in a single direction down the street.