Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Greatest Airport Ever

I need to make one thing clear right off the bat. Singapore's Changi airport is not to be confused with the rapper Chingy (warning: MySpace link, probably not safe for work or human dignity), whose 2003 musical number "Right Thurr" will inevitably lead him to a future stint on a VH1 "celebrity" "reality" "TV show".

So as to avoid confusion and stay true to my word, the airport will simply be referred to as The Greatest Airport Ever. TGAE, for short, trademark me, 2012.

Upon arriving at TGAE we headed straight to take a shower, which you can totally do! I'm sure this is a standard service at all international airports but this is the first time I've long hauled it long enough to actually utilize such a service. For $8 Singapore dollars you get all the hot water and athlete's foot you can handle. Eeeew, I forgot to pack flip flops in my carry-on. I wasn't about to shower in knee high boots so I'm just waiting to pay dearly for that mistake. It felt awesome.

After a quick 6 a.m. meal of spicy Thai green curry it was time for a stroll through the butterfly garden, yaaaaaay! I don't know what sorcery is afoot in that place but damn, putting a butterfly garden in an airport makes travelers a lot less grumpy and introverted than usual. Maybe it was only me squeeling like a stuck pig saying "Look at that butterfly!" every 4 seconds but I really felt a lot better about my existence on this planet by being surrounded by butterflies in an unlikely place.

One landed on Martin's arm but it flew away before he got a picture of it. One touched my head, but I didn't see it. The highlight for me were the rings of pineapple laying around, where butterflies would land and rub their unidentifiable butterfly parts in the sweet juicy fruit. Yeah...this story is turning out to be not as interesting as I imagined. But make no mistake, it kicked ass. I highly recommend you make a trip through it if you ever find yourself at TGAE.

By this point jet lag, exhaustion and lack of ownership over the movement of my own body was starting to make me loopy. Remember that funny YouTube video of the kid drugged up from the dentist asking "Is this real life?" Well I was wondering the same thing myself. I imagine it being the same feeling as having a newborn. Except when traveling for countless hours, it's not someone else I need to worry about having a disastrous incident involving bodily functions.

This was 2 days ago and I literally don't remember most of the flight from Singapore to Brisbane. I was out. of. it and slept a lot. I remember there was a baby on board and I only heard it cry a little bit during take off and landing. I should keep little Parents of the Year trophies in my carry-on for just such occasions. I made it through 2/3 of Tina Fey's Bossypants, for the second time, which, I'm going to call it right now, is my favorite (non-fiction) book ever. I could never cheat on my dead, elderly lover Kurt Vonnegut and declare it the number one #1 but man, it is SO GOOD!

I want Tina Fey to consume me but not kill me so I can live within her and be surrounded by her amazingness. I say that as un-creepily as possible. I love that book. I demand you all purchase and read it immediately, if you are to remain worthy of reading this dog and pony show blog I've got going here.

We got to Australia (early, even - Singapore Airlines is an absolutely awesome airline). The immigration agent did not ask us one single question about why we were entering, despite there being no sticker in our passports to indicate our legality. Our luggage got on the carousel immediately and the sniffer dog detected no illegal contraband in our luggage (whew!). We were out in the Australian 78-and-humid night within 25 minutes of leaving the plane. Gold star for Bisbane Airport. It is no TGAE but they get you in and out with minimal fuss.

We had pre-booked a van to take us to our temporary apartment and we zipped right on in to town and got checked in to our apartment by the friendliest Aussie stoner one could ever hope to meet. He gave us 24 hours of internet for free, a $20 value (extortion!) and has since let me copy and scan stuff for free. To quote a fine poet I cannot exactly remember:

"I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)"

For as long as we have this apartment (max 2 weeks) my only wish is to party with Patrick the reception guy. So help me god I'm going to make it happen.

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