2023: The Year of the Visitor

Our multi-visitor week in October was not the first or the last time we hosted visitors in 2023, which will go down in history as the best year of visitors ever.

Traveling with kids is no joke, so pro tip: host visitors to have the fun people and experiences come to you!

May: Thomas & Honor

I (foolishly) didn't do much blogging about our frequent, casual 4WD camping trips in Australia, but the few I did inevitably featured Thomas.

He was at our wedding, where he gave me the best wedding present I received, bar none, and possibly the best present I will ever receive in my entire life:

This business card that he actually gave to girls when he was in college!  I treasure this thing, literally.  I keep it with my kids birth certificates and if my house is ever on fire, this thing will be saved. 
 

Note I'm purposely not blurring out the number, because it's not his anymore, and I actively want people to call and plague the poor soul who currently has it.  After my wedding I drunkenly called the number and I'm hoping others will do the same, in search of this long-forgotten "International Playboy".  I die at the hilariousness of this! 

One girl did answer the call, his new wife Honor.  This work trip of his was timed just a few weeks after their wedding in Queensland, which we sadly missed out on. 

As is the norm for Thomas, his trip was short and sweet - 45 hours start to finish.  That boy would go through the Louvre at a dead sprint if he were going to visit, so we had to carefully curate our activities.

Gorging ourselves on top-notch Norwegian seafood was a top priority.  We cleared out the oceans while drinking wine and catching up on life in Australia.

We took the obligatory trip to Old Fredrikstad, where the guys got...creative...with the cannons:

No homo.  But mere seconds after this photo was taken, hilarity ensued.

Thomas slid off the back of the cannon and fell arse over tit (as we Aussies say) onto the ground.  It was so goddamn hilarious, and the photo really doesn't do his hilarious indignity justice.  Quite possibly the funniest thing that happened to me all year!

Where Thomas goes, funny antics follow.

July: Cath & Dan

Catherine and Uncle Dan are one of several sets of Baby Boomers who adopted us and Freya during our lives in Australia, especially during the pandemic when we were locked in Prison Australia. 

We visited them somewhat frequently in Australia, but as I mentioned earlier my blogging wasn't quite up to scratch in those carefree days of youth.  I also failed to blog, exactly one year prior, a visit by their actual niece Pia (with husband Ryan + two kids), due to my "delicate condition", mere weeks before I birthed Fiona (baby #2).

One thing I want the world to know is that I love hanging out with people my parents age, 70+ years old.  Their lifestyle precisely fits my desired lifestyle.  Midday naps!  British murder mysteries!  And most importantly, lots and lots and lots of Scrabble!

Catherine is the world's baddest bitch Scrabble player (note to Boomers whose lifestyle I aspire to have: that is a huge compliment).  She whoops my ass almost all of the time, especially on our near-constant Words with Friends games online, but despite my repeated defeat I still love playing with her, very much. 

We did pause our Scrabble games to go outdoors occasionally, this being the best month to be in Norway.  We met up with them at Frogner "nudie" park in Oslo, not for groping statue butts, but to attend the annual American 4th of July celebration that is held there. 

It's supposedly the largest 4th of July gathering outside of North America, but I'm skeptical of this claim.  I had never gone before and it was fun to be around so many of my people for the day, and bust out those adorable red, white and blue outfits!

Cath and Dan went off to the west coast to see proper Norwegian nature before returning to us, where we stayed at the seaside, conveniently located within driving distance of daycare, but just rural enough that you can drink in public without being arrested.

One evening at sunset, which in Norway in July is damn near midnight, Martin took our guests an hour inland for an amazing nature experience.

A moose safari!  Yes you heard that right.  A safari.  For moose!

I couldn't attend because somebody had to stay home with my damn wiener kids, so I entered my twentieth year visiting/living in Norway without ever having seen a moose.

And they saw like 25+!  A record number of sightings, according to the tour guide.  

The very first time I saw Fiona crawl in her entire life (at the ripe old age of 11 months) was towards Uncle Dan on this visit.

This is an early indication that I don't need to worry about the boys she goes after in the future.  She knows how to pick the quality ones!  Seriously, kid, keep up the good work.

December: Pieter & Erica

Our final visitors for the year rang in 2024 with us, and traveled the shortest distance of any of our visitors, from the Netherlands.

Pieter was an Edinburgh classmate of Martin's and is easily our most dedicated visitor/travel friend of anybody we know.  We have met up in Hong Kong, Brisbane, Barcelona, Mallorca, Istanbul and Bulgaria.  And that is to say nothing of the numerous dudes-only trips I was not a part of, or the many, many months he spent living with us in Brisbane when he'd travel for extended periods for work.  We have spent a lot of time with Pieter since meeting him back in 2010, and seeing all those visits typed out in one place is really quite incredible!

We picked them up at the airport and drove 2 hours away to a winter wonderland. 

Lillehammer, which you may remember from such Olympics as the 1994 Nancy Kerrigan vs. Tanya Harding feud.  I have such good memories of this time!  And am still salty, almost 30 years later, that Oksana Baiul won gold that year.

On the drive to Lillehammer I finally achieved a Norway bucket list.  I finally saw a moose!  

What I missed out on during the safari in July I made up for in a split second driving down the highway.  At first I thought they were cows, until my brain registered that cows wouldn't be in such a wild forest area.

I've seen that road sign hundreds of times, but no actual moose, and was starting to think they were mythical creatures like trolls.  It was a great way to kick off our visit, even if the excitement only lasted a fraction of a second and, as such, no photographic evidence exists.

Their daughter is almost exactly 1 month older than Fiona, so I hope they grow up to be the best of friends and attend many exotic destination weddings like we have enjoyed.

We spent our days doing what we could to entertain the kids.  This included a trip to the Maihaugen open air museum, where I got my first up-close experience with a Norwegian stave church:

This thing was built in the 1200's, which is over 800 years ago!  That is insane!

This place would be [much] better in the summer, I think, as I didn't really get a feel for what I was seeing or why it was interesting.

Plus pushing a pram in this level of snow was no walk in the park.  So thankfully right inside is the Norwegian Olympic Museum.

Yay!  Let the games begin!  

Expectation: I want to see a day-by-day timeline of the Kerrigan vs. Harding drama.  Hell, I want to see the crowbar!  And a bloodied ice skate!

Reality: Not so much as a wide shot photo of Kerrigan nor Harding.  Not a single word!  About the greatest sporting scandal of all time!  All around disappointment.

There were a limited number of bright spots, though, including a wall of Olympic torches:

Including the one from Berlin 1936 (far left, down low, silver).  

There were a small number of interesting installations at this museum, but I can assure you Norway's skiing uniforms in the 21st century are not in the top 500 most interesting things that could have been here.  Just give the people [me] what they want [the crowbar]!

As is our custom with friends traveling with kids, we segregated by gender and swapped going out one night with taking care of the kids.

One night you get steak and champagne out on the town, and the next you get to drink boxed wine in your darkened hotel room from a paper cup!  I find this system quite brilliant and I encourage everybody to try it out.

We then drove back to Oslo for New Years Eve, and a rocking wild party.

Traditional Norwegian cuisine, followed by fireworks on TV (and out the window) at midnight.  

We did get outside over the next few days to see what we could of Oslo, though it was no easy feat with two prams containing 18-month-olds, after the recent snow "storm" Oslo received:

We hung out at a lot of cafes - I love Norway for letting kids sleep in their pram outside unsupervized - and took in the Opera House, though in this weather it was nowhere near as spectacular as it was in October:

You couldn't even walk onto the roof this time of year. 

Generally our priority was to just hang out, catch up and bitch about parenting.  We didn't even make it to Vigeland Park to showcase the nude statues, but that's Ok.  Those nudie butts will be there next time.  

I am so grateful for all the visitors we had in 2023; it really was a banner year for visitors!

Six sets of visitors to our little slice of northern Europe.  Are they coming to see us or are they coming to see Norway?  I don't even care!  But we're so awesome I bet they're coming just to see us.

Aussie Visitors: Staycation 2023

For a week in September/October every year I've got a week off work - fall break it's called - because working in education in Norway comes with mad perks. 

When Clare, Australian former colleague of mine who made her debut here a half decade ago in Barcelona, said she was coming to Europe sometime this fall I knew exactly when to tell her to come.

Then imagine my surprise when another friend, Kim, fellow Aussie snorkeler but actually Canadian, who was supposed to be nearby in Finland for work in June, said her work trip was postponed and she would be coming to visit the very same week!

And then - I am not making this up but it truly is hard to believe - Laura and BJ who we met in Brisbane, but have lived in many exotic destinations since leaving us years ago, announced they would also like to make a stop in Norway en route to the USA from their home in Hong Kong.

Quick maths: four adult (two singles and one couple) plus one toddler, just 3 months older than Freya, are descending upon us in the very same week!  All from our lives in Australia.  The exact week I have off work!  The lucky country indeed.

One lifestyle downgrade we made when coming to Norway from Australia was smaller house size, so there's no way we could fit all five of those bodies on top of the current four bodies we have in our house, so we had to figure out a Plan B, at least for the two nights when all of these visitors overlapped.

Oslo it is!

We live way out in suburbia, hardly a bucket list item for travelers, so we booked city center apartments in Oslo that would allow us to showcase the highlights of our fine capital city in 48 hours or less.

We started our stay with a traditional Norwegian meal.

Did you know that there are daily flights from Norway to Tokyo containing only salmon?  I have no sources to back this up, but our salmon is so good the Japanese import it by the planeload.

Akerselva

We started our day with a stroll down this urban river, which beautifully showcased the fall leaves of the season.  Here we had our one and only wildlife encounter in Oslo, where we came upon...a rat.

Look just to the left of the knee beside the pram - the fabled Norwegian rodent.  I wish we had video of this encounter as it was absolute pandemonium with 2 three-year-olds going mental while six adults scream-laughed.  It was a great start to our day out in the big city (population 634,000 - Norway's biggest)!

The Tiger

Outside Oslo central train station ("Oslo S") there is a big bronze statue of a tiger, which might be the most popular photography spot in all of Oslo.  The kids had great fun climbing on his tail for a while while we waited for the clouds to part so we could get a sunny view of the Oslo fjord atop Oslo's finest piece of real estate:

Oslo Opera House

This is 100% me talking out of my ass, but the Oslo Opera House is the second best opera house on the planet, after Sydney, which is clearly unbeatable.

It doesn't look like too awful much from a distance, but the beauty is that you can walk on 90% of the roof so it's a very up close and personal experience.

It makes this ornate piece of public real estate feel very accessible to the every-man.  If that isn't Norway I don't know what is.

With three kids in tow we were in no position to have a peaceful sit down lunch like civilized adults, so we did what the locals do and ate hot dogs from a convenience store.

It is truly a cultural and culinary experience not to be missed in Norway.  Don't pity our visitors, the hot dogs are actually very high quality and delicious!  Norway's original fast food.  

Parliament

We walked the entire length of the approximate one kilometer down Karl Johans gate, the main shopping street of Oslo, which leads from Oslo S to:

Royal Palace

Yes, Norway has a king and queen and no, they're not half as interesting as the British ones while simultaneously being twice as trashy.  But we've got a pretty palace overlooking the city to show for it!  Unfortunately we didn't see the changing of the guards, but it's a minor goal to see it once in my Norwegian life.

A funny thing about roaming in a pack of Australian citizens: you do not get far before somebody is demanding a stop for a coffee.  Not just any coffee, though. A "good coffee", mind you.

Australia has not exported the information that they have the best coffee in the world, though they have [falsely] exported the information that every animal on the continent is dangerous and scary.  It's bizarre!  Their best kept secret.  

And they are picky about their precious cuppa, and you don't live there for nearly a decade without becoming picky about it, too.  Their (our) standards are very high, and I'm happy to report that Oslo coffee shops passed the snobby Aussie test.  Bravo, Oslo!  You are worthy of being classified as a livable place based on that fact alone.

Vigeland Sculpture Park

Located in the posh suburb of Frogner, Vigeland "nudie" Park is so nicknamed because it is a park filled with sculptures of nudes.  Lots of T&A hanging out for all the world to see here, that you can fondle all you want!

Entertaining story time: Clare, who has lived many years in Germany, mistook my nickname of "nudie park" to mean that it was an actual nudist park containing naked living humans.  She was pleasantly surprised to learn that the nudes are, in fact, statues!  Let me tell you those Germans never cease to entertain me!

The most famous sculptures here, by my estimation, are The Monolith, what I like to call the orgie tower:

And Sinnataggen, a.k.a. The Angry Boy.

This statue is a lot cuter before you have kids, trust.  Tantrums by brats are not art!

After our whirlwind day of touring in Oslo the group went in different directions, with the single ladies heading to different places on the west coast by train.  We would reunite but it really was a game of musical visitors.  

I think our trip back home from Oslo (a whopping 38 minutes) was Freya's first time on a train!  She was amused.

Laura, BJ and "lille boy" (little boy), as Freya initially called their son Brady, came with us to our humble abode, where Martin fed them a spread of native delicacies.  Literally.

There was whale, reindeer and moose meat on the menu.  And chanterelle mushrooms, which are a local Norwegian autumn delicacy and so freaking good.  We ate and drank and came dangerously close to soiling ourselves laughing, not unlike our pre-kids Ireland road trip together half a decade ago.

We spent our day together in Old Fredrikstad, about a half hour away, which is a fortified town, meaning that if you try to invade it you will get a cannon ball to the face.

The streets are made of cobblestones, which makes this place not exactly ideal for pram pushers such as myself.  There's a (free!) ferry that goes across the fjord to get there and it's our go-to place for visitors when they're here.  It's so scenic and a guaranteed stop for our international visitors.

Then Laura and BJ were off to a wedding in North Carolina, and the revolving door of visitors continued with Kim, or as Freya called her, Jim.  I took Jim to Alby Gaard, a fjord-side farm and art gallery on the island of Jeloy in our town.

Like with the previous visitors we mainly just hung out, talked about life, and laughed ourselves silly.  It had been nearly 2.5 years since we'd last been together, when we left Australia. 

Saying goodbye to Kim was the hardest farewell back then, and that was no different with this batch of visitors.  Months later Freya still asks about Jim, which is only fitting because without Jim and her hand-me-downs Freya would have been naked, sleeping on the floor and drinking milk out of a dog bowl from birth to age 1 year.

Finally it was time for Clare to come back from the west coast for her stay at our place until - oh shit - she reported that she tested positive for Covid-19, so she would stay in Oslo instead of coming to stay with us!  But that wasn't going to stop me from seeing her before she moved on to her next Euro-fabulous destination, socially distanced of course.

Spoiler alert: I still got The Rona from her, despite our half-assed attempts at social distancing, but it was 100% worth it.  We had a lovely, fun day in Oslo loitering over delicious Australian coffee and then loitering at what might be the greatest public library on earth.

Deichman 

This is very ironic and possibly ignorant to say, but I think what makes this such an amazing library is a noticeable lack of books (LOL).  It really is more of a hang out/meeting place for the public, with infinite innovative places for studying, meeting or, the theme of our day, loitering.  There is even a whole floor for kids to run around, complete with pram parking.  

So cool!  It really is a sight to behold, and a fantastic use of public funds, and after this visit (my first) I recommend all visitors to Oslo check it out.

I really can't put into words how glad I am that these friends went out of their way to come visit us.  I really do enjoy sharing my new [old] country with people, and it was soooooo good to catch up with these beloved friends after a few years apart.

Having all these visitors really does help heal the pain of leaving (or being pushed out of) our amazing Australian lives.

 

Germany & Denmark Roadtrip

With a baby brewing in my belly, yet somehow not thwarted by our recent Gothenburg trip, we felt the clock ticking on our ability (and willingness) to start traveling again.  Having a baby on a prison island in the middle of Covid and a gigantic international move of 2 adults, a house full of stuff, a baby and dog really put the kaibosh on our travel mojo. 

Travel sure looks different these days (more playgrounds, less beer halls) but we can't stay within driving distance forever if we wish to live our best European lives.  Not yet ready for an airplane trip, setting sail on a ferry was our mode of transport of choice.

Destination: My favorite country to travel to and the place I have returned to the most (5x) in my nearly two decades of traveling, Germany!

Not visible in image: the train is actually late

I can't explain it - Martin does not share my enthusiasm - but I love it so much!

This trip looked much (much) different from my previous ones.  But as usual, visiting Das German Friends was a top priority.

Said friends have also accumulated plenty of baggage in the form of crotch fruit over recent years.  The next generation of our Edinburgh gang is gaining in size and strength.  Our stops along the way:

Kittlitz, Germany

An hour east of Hamburg is a literal village called Kittlitz where our friends Moritz and Thesi moved to from Berlin.  Being in this stage of life people no longer require the fun of city dwelling and move away seeking greener pastures and a more rustic way of life.

We hadn't seen these friends since just before the pandemic when we all converged in Bulgaria for a wedding.  They also visited us in Brisbane in November 2018 where we went to Byron Bay and I asked myself for the 10th time: Why am I here and why is this place so popular?  I don't get the appeal!

Also joining us were Jan and Mariya who threw the aforementioned Bulgarian wedding.  They never made it as far as Australia but we did meet up with them in Hong Kong during our first New Years Eve in Australia (2012, dangerously close to a decade ago).  

Kittlitz is right on the border of what used to be East Germany (see also: history) and we were assured that the architecture on that side was dank and depressing.  We never did experience the brutalist architecture, however, as we were too busy getting lost in the woods.  I'm unsure if this was in East or West Germany.

With 4.5 kids between three couples the days were tame and the nights were early, but we had a ton of fun laughing, catching up and for the 5 out of 6 adults who were not pregnant and not me, having a few brews.

Neu Wulmstorf, Germany

Located conveniently nearby less than an hour to the west of Hamburg was our only non-Edinburgh German friends, Stefan and Sascha.  We met them on our month-long journey in Asia just prior to starting grad school in Edinburgh, and last visited them at their magnificent Hamburg penthouse apartment when we returned to Europe in 2015.  

But in the bustling city they live no more.  As a gay couple you might assume, incorrectly, that they had not fallen victim to/been blessed by parenthood as we have, but with that assumption you would be very, very wrong.  In fact they turbocharged their parenthood and assembled three kids in less than a year!  

It's a wild story, and I'm not even sure I fully understand the exact details, but it's something they wanted for a long time and they are A+ dads and the delightful real life version of Modern Family.  More kids to entertain my kids in the future to keep them out of our hair so the adults can drink?  Babies for everyone!

We took 2.5 of the combined 4.5 kids to Wildpark Schwarze Berge, which probably is not a stop we would have made in a pre-child life.  But the absolute beauty of Germany is that even this child-focused zoo the snackbar sells beer along with their currywurst!

  

This is why I keep returning to Germany.  Just when you think it takes itself too seriously (true) you realize that it is a completely clown shoes Candy Land (also true). 

The best part of the "wildpark" were the many docile, free roaming, big fat pigs.

After a few days of catching up, letting the kids run wild, eating homemade spaetzle and basking in their magnificent, palatial yard it was time to head north.  But not home to Norway yet!

Tønder, Denmark

This isn't exactly on the standard Danish tourist trail, but it wasn't too far out of our way and Martin spent three years of his life here in his early teen years.  In this very house!

It was fun to see places from his childhood, like the place where he fell off his bike and busted his two front teeth that have fallen out and caused dental problems multiple times throughout our relationship (for example, aforementioned NYE trip to Hong Kong).

Technically we stayed in the nearby village of Møgeltønder, which sees more tourists - and royals - as there is a royal residence there.

Rømø Island

The Danish equivalent of the better known German island next door, Sylt, Rømø was a holiday destination of Martin's youth.  We had to make a detour to check it out because you can freaking drive your car on the beach!

Coming from Australia, where only the hardest core 4WD vehicle would even attempt beach driving, I was terrified to take our fairly new BMW out onto "sand".  In fact I insisted we try walking first, not realizing that the beach is at least a mile wide and walking with a toddler is downright foolish and/or impossible.

But during that failed walk attempt I realized the sand is virtually as hard as concrete.  No way will you bury your car in sand and need to be towed out.  How is this sand?!

It was a nice detour to stretch our legs on the way to our next destination.

Givskud Zoo

This zoo is a drive thru, which I don't think is something I've ever seen in my life.  It is a really awesome concept for the lazy and toddler toting, like myself.

You can get out and walk through 90% of the zoo, except for the lion enclosure.  It was really convenient because the place is huge, and parking lots are ample, so you could drive your way to different sections of the zoo but still get out and see animals the old fashioned way.

Martin remembers going here as a kid.  It's not far from Legoland, which is like Disney World Light as far as time, money and aggravation are concerned and Freya is in no stage of life where that is yet advisable.  So the likelihood of us coming back on a future trip is high.

Vejle Deer Park

Instead of staying right next to the rural zoo and paying zoo hotel prices we stayed about a half hour away in the town of Vejle.  Just outside of town they had my favorite stop of the trip, a park filled with super tame deer that you could just sit and chill with.

Or, with a toddler, chase and spook them so they run away from you.  Still cool.  It was free and I don't think I've ever seen anything like this, either.  This area of Denmark is a good place for animal lovers, clearly. 

Arentsminde 

Our last stop of the journey was a random town in the north of Denmark, not far from the ferry terminal that would take us home.  A distant relative of Martin's, Edel, lives here (I believe his mother's cousin's wife).  She was at our wedding in Florida half a decade ago, so we didn't want to be in the vicinity without making a house call. 

She's got a huge green thumb so we spent most of the evening harvesting various vegetables and playing petanque, which seems pretty identical to lawn bowls (or bocce).  It was nice to finally have someone to talk to again that was outside of our little nuclear family, even if it was in Norwegian, which is like climbing a mental mountain.

This made me realize something.  I forgot - or perhaps never fully learned - how to travel just us.  Living abroad for 15 years means there's always somebody to visit (or travel with) so every trip/vacation/holiday we take is guaranteed to include others.  The majority of this trip was no different!

It's hard to say where our travel lives will take us with Baby #2 due to arrive before the end of summer.  Maybe we'll want to spend more time with just the 4 of us, but that would come at the expense of visiting the friends and family we've accumulated around the world.  As much as I love my little nuclear fam that's an unattractive prospect to me.

Or maybe we will realize that going anywhere with two kids is not worth the effort, and stick to North Dakota family visits only for the foreseeable future.  Time will tell but one thing is for certain: we need to be better about taking photos of just the three of us!