So many Europportunities! Italy! South of France! Greece! But ultimately we chose...
Apparently freezing to death and getting soaking wet in the middle of "summer" is our jam.
I had been to Dublin for a few days during my study abroad semester (many, many moons ago) but Martin had never been before. So we had a perfectly legitimate excuse to choose Ireland as our third and final European destination. That and a reunion with these two legends:
Laura and BJ fled the sunny shores of Brisbane (as most do) a few years ago and have landed in New York City. BJ's parents are still here so they visit somewhat regularly and they came to our wedding in November. I braved the heat to visit them in 2016, and after rereading that post I won't say another word about how cold it was on this trip. In fact I welcome the chill.
Irish wet and cold > NYC summer heat
They had a wedding in Dublin the weekend after ours in Mallorca so we decided to spend the weekdays in between the two doing this:
Road trip!
A road isn't worth tripping without the ultimate Irish play list.
I carefully curated a list of songs by Irish artists, or songs in some way related to Ireland. I think anybody can see the play list here even if you don't have a Spotify account. If that doesn't work, be wowed by this sample (with links to YouTube):
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
Linger by The Cranberries
Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2
The Galway Girl by Steve Earle
C'est la Vie by B*Witched
When You Say Nothing at All by Ronan Keating of Boyzone
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
Whiskey in the Jar by Metallica
I'm Shipping Up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys
I dare say this is the finest collection of Irish tunes ever compiled with each song kicking more ass than the next. You are welcome!
Here's the fairly ambitious route we took, starting in Cork and ending in Dublin:
We started in Cork because that's where we could get a direct flight from Mallorca, where we were warmly welcomed at the airport by a hallway of portraits of random redheads:
A lovely and quirky Irish touch to kick off our travels.
We immediately dropped our luggage upon arrival and hit the town for the only thing that must be accomplished in Ireland:
Recognize this? If you guessed Guinness you are incorrect!
Apparently Guinness is a Dublin stout, and down in Cork they drink the local version, Murphy's. There's also a third Cork brand called Beamish, which is also acceptable. But whatever you do, don't ask for a Guinness in Cork! You will be chased out of town.
I know this insider information because of our local tour guide, my friend Kris from our Edinburgh days.
Most of our friends from that time came out of Martin's class but I've got a few people of my own tucked away in my back pocket for reunions such as this.
Kris escorted us along the banks of the River Lee:
To a number of different local pubs.
To enjoy many pints of Murphy's and Beamish! And learn more about life in Cork, which was great. I appreciate a locals perspective so much when traveling.
After multiple pints of stout, Kris's #1 Cork recommendation was getting our hands on a hot chicken roll, local drunk food of choice.
I shouldn't even give Centra the free advertisement, because these turds turned us away at the door like street urchins. Not because we were drunk (come on, it's Ireland - you're as likely to be drunk as you are to be pasty skinned) but because they were closing a supposedly 24/7 store. We found another shop open to serve us first hot chicken roll, but it kind of sucked. The bread was old and it was pretty dry. As far as cultural food experiences (my personal fave kind of experience) this one was a bummer.
However Kris redeemed his recommendation skills the next day, where he directed us to a breakfast restaurant for a bit of soakage (food to soak up the previous nights booze) with a "Full Irish".
I can't for the life of me figure out what the difference between a full Irish and a full English is, but I suspect it has something to do with the number of potato sides included. My personal favorite is breakfast beans (which to me taste like Spaghetti-O sauce) and I've never turned my nose up at black pudding before (yes, that's made from blood).
It did the trick! With our bellies full we were feeling on top 'o the world to hit the road and start our journey around the island.
Cobh
Laura was inspired to visit this little town by colorful pictures on Instagram. The lack of sun makes for duller pictures in real life, but it was a cute, picturesque little place.
Not-so-fun fact: Cobh (then known as the Queenstown) was the final stop of the Titanic before it departed for open ocean, sinking four days later. There's a memorial for the victims:
You know damn well that all passengers from this departure point would have been in steerage, and had no chance of survival on that ritzy ship. Sad.
Kinsale
This exceedingly colorful little town was recommended to us so we went out of our way and wandered the streets and enjoyed the ocean view from the nearby hilltop fort.
The most notable part of our stop in Kinsale was the first opportunity to get my sausage fingers on a bag of this:
Tayto is the local potato chip of choice in Ireland, one of a million ways to enjoy the almighty potato. It's tasty enough but with a long history of chip eating in both the USA and Norway, which both have exceptional selections, I wouldn't say it was an earth shattering experience. But that didn't stop us from tearing through all 8 bags!
"Ring of Kerry"
Let this next bit be a cautionary tale to all of you laissz-faire travelers out there.
We spent the whole morning taking our sweet time, wandering around and checking out places that weren't necessarily a priority for us. Basically, we didn't do proper research on this trip and were winging it completely. To the point that we missed out on doing the #1 thing we were planning to do!
The Ring of Kerry is a 179 kilometer (111 mile) loop around a peninsula in the southwest of the country, which shouldn't take too long to travel, right? Wrong.
If you've done any research, any research at all like clicking the Trip Advisor page you will see that circumnavigating it is - as the very first review states - A LONG and FULL Day. So rocking up to the tourist information center at 2pm thinking you can do the entire loop is...not within the realm of possibility. And also idiotic and rather embarrassing. So on to Plan B that is achievable in one afternoon.
Killarney National Park
Located on the Ring of Kerry, but not more than an hour into it is the lovely and picturesque Killarney National Park. If you're pressed for time due to your own negligence I can highly recommend the various stops, views and lookouts.
But honestly we didn't care much, and were more interested in trying to capture a "leprechaun jump" successfully on camera.
Which is even more impossible than traveling the Ring of Kerry in half a day (and I suspect twice as fun).
The one hour in and one hour out we spent driving was rough going. The roads are ridiculously narrow and winding, and you are sharing the road with jagged rock walls and tons of traffic, including gigantic tour buses. It was so stressful, and we barely did any of the loop. If I ever successfully circumvent the Ring of Kerry in my life it damn well better be from the comfort of a bus driven by a professional.
Killarney
By pure coincidence another dearly departed Brisbane friend was in Ireland at the same time as the four of us. Laura and I visited Olena on that wretchedly hot trip to New York and in Melbourne many moons ago. We had the foresight to coordinate a night in the same town, but not the foresight to whip out a camera and get a shot of all of us together. Oops!
We wandered around town and had a micro brewed stout, because where there's tradition, hipsters will follow. We had a delightfully traditional dinner surrounded by geriatric tourists with ne'er a hipster in sight before hitting the town, where the rarest event in the history of mankind happened.
Live music that I didn't hate! I have negative tolerance for loud, shitty music played at high volume. But even I must admit these guys were playing some legit music. I would always prefer a nice, quiet pub where conversation can flow freely but even I agree this experience was pretty enjoyable.
We awoke the next morning and headed north, and to save ourselves time driving along the jagged coastline we got on a car ferry, where we ran into Olena again by total chance.
My goodness this place is so crazy small! And finally we got our picture together. There is a well defined tourist trail in Ireland, so it's not the craziest coincidence to run into her again unplanned, but it's still pretty wild.
Kind of like the weather. Raining, cold, windy; all around miserable probably because there was nothing separating us from Newfoundland, Canada but the Atlantic ocean. That's not a complaint. Better to be cold than hot!
Loop Head Lighthouse
This could have offered some nice views, if the visibility reached beyond a few dozen feet.
We took our time driving up the west coast since we had a better handle on what we were doing than yesterday and the time investment required. We made stops along the way when the mood struck us. And the farther north we went, the shittier the weather got.
Then shittier.
And shittier still.
Until finally we reached our destination.
Cliffs of Moher
Thank you, random dude with a Flickr account, for providing a decent photo which I was not able to get myself. Because the weather was total SHIT!
I think I can safely say it is the shittiest weather I have ever experienced in my entire life. Not just rain, but wind and cold. In the middle of June! When we had been sweating in Norway mere weeks before.
The rain and wind was so fearsome you couldn't even see the cliffs because your glasses were so plastered with rain they were more useless than your poor eyesight.
Tell us how you really feel, Laura.
But you know what? We had so much fun. We laughed so hard, even though we didn't dare do the sightseeing boat tour we had planned and our underwear was soaked completely through.
We spent our last night together in Galway staying warm and dry and enjoying sweet, sweet redemption of the hot chicken roll variety.
Oh my goodness this is amazing drunk food! Or sober food. Or food to be eaten at any time of day alongside Tayto chips. Also known as a chicken fillet roll, it is so simple yet so delicious. Deep fried chicken of dubious origin, cheese, mayo, lettuce and bread. Perfection, and so much more dignified than a greasy, dingy kebab (which I also love). A+ drunk food, Ireland. I don't know how I ever doubted you in this area.
Dublin
Onto our final destination we parted ways with BJ and Laura as they had wedding events to attend and we, too, had important, overdue business.
Finally we arrived in the right place!
Actually, that was Martin's local activity of choice. I am entirely embarrassed to admit that I spent a ridiculous amount of time here:
We did spend time actually seeing the city, I promise.
Molly Malone statue
The tart with the cart. The trollop with the scallop. Molly is a fictional fishmonger character with her boobs hanging way out so the poor girl takes a fair bit of groping. Notice how her chest is discolored compared to the rest of her body. #HerToo
Temple Bar
Not one actual bar, this area of town is filled with pubs and tourists. If you are a 21-year-old American study abroad student trust me, this place will be your jam.
If you are a 35-year-old expat, however, it's more your scene for the restaurants. We love the show Bizarre Foods: Delicious Destinations from the Travel Channel and the Dublin episode taught us about the traditional dish called boxty served many places but especially at Gallaghers Boxty House.
Boxty is a potato pancake, but not like a latke, more like a crepe that can be stuffed and topped with various tasty things. It's probably the number one thing you must eat in Ireland (though there are a lot of contenders - I'm looking at you, hot chicken roll). This is the only dish I'm aware of that comes with its own poem:
Boxty on the griddle
Boxty in the pan
If you can't make boxty
You'll never get a man
And speaking of needing a good man!
Oscar Wilde Memorial
This bloke loved his blokes.
St Stephen's Green
This lovely little park has something for everyone, depending on employment status. You can people watch, eat your takeaway lunch, bird watch, drink booze out of a paper bag or sleep until the cops kick you out.
EPIC The Irish Emigration Museum
I am ridiculously interested in migration and the stories of people who left one home for another. This is a nifty little interactive museum that tells the stories of Irish who left because they wanted to or because they were forced to.
In preparation for my trip I read Angela's Ashes, but due to our piss poor journey planning I missed a drive through Limerick where most of the book takes place. It's the story of a family who left and came back to Ireland, but it's pretty freaking obvious they should have stayed gone (if they wanted to not die). Based on this book and the volatile modern day economy I seriously need to be convinced that Ireland and the Irish people aren't cursed. Because right now I am on the fence.
Our final Dublin stop was my #1 and only priority to see in the whole country, and unlike the Cliffs of Moher it did not disappoint!
Trinity College Library
A must do in Dublin, but I recommend you book your tickets in advance. When we saw the line for general admission we went on our phones and booked tickets for the next available timed entry. It took us the exact same amount of time, so we could've saved a half hour if we knew when to show up.
And that was our whirlwind workday Irish road trip! Ireland is so vividly green and beautiful, but I feel that if we had been there on our own I would not have had nearly such a good a time. We laughed with Laura and BJ for four days straight, which was the highlight for me. Without them I think I would've gotten sick of the weather and constant driving. BYOFriends to Ireland! But full disclosure I am not a road tripper at heart.
Thus ends our three weeks in Europe. It was fantastic to be back and see everyone, many of which had been to our wedding 7 months prior, but you never get to spend a decent amount of time with anyone at your own wedding. And we majorly realized something on this trip. While three weeks isn't an unreasonably long time to be away on vacation it is way too long to be away from Matilda! Our hearts were hurting by the end, and I think when we all got back home we loved her (and she loved us) a little bit more.
Who knows if we'll take a trip this long again for the rest of her life!
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