For a week in September/October every year I've got a week off work - fall break it's called - because working in education in Norway comes with mad perks.
When Clare, Australian former colleague of mine who made her debut here a half decade ago in Barcelona, said she was coming to Europe sometime this fall I knew exactly when to tell her to come.
And then - I am not making this up but it truly is hard to believe - Laura and BJ who we met in Brisbane, but have lived in many exotic destinations since leaving us years ago, announced they would also like to make a stop in Norway en route to the USA from their home in Hong Kong.
Quick maths: four adult (two singles and one couple) plus one toddler, just 3 months older than Freya, are descending upon us in the very same week! All from our lives in Australia. The exact week I have off work! The lucky country indeed.
One lifestyle downgrade we made when coming to Norway from Australia was smaller house size, so there's no way we could fit all five of those bodies on top of the current four bodies we have in our house, so we had to figure out a Plan B, at least for the two nights when all of these visitors overlapped.
Oslo it is!
We started our stay with a traditional Norwegian meal.
Akerselva
We started our day with a stroll down this urban river, which beautifully showcased the fall leaves of the season. Here we had our one and only wildlife encounter in Oslo, where we came upon...a rat.
Look just to the left of the knee beside the pram - the fabled Norwegian rodent. I wish we had video of this encounter as it was absolute pandemonium with 2 three-year-olds going mental while six adults scream-laughed. It was a great start to our day out in the big city (population 634,000 - Norway's biggest)!
The Tiger
Outside Oslo central train station ("Oslo S") there is a big bronze statue of a tiger, which might be the most popular photography spot in all of Oslo. The kids had great fun climbing on his tail for a while while we waited for the clouds to part so we could get a sunny view of the Oslo fjord atop Oslo's finest piece of real estate:
Oslo Opera House
It doesn't look like too awful much from a distance, but the beauty is that you can walk on 90% of the roof so it's a very up close and personal experience.
It makes this ornate piece of public real estate feel very accessible to the every-man. If that isn't Norway I don't know what is.
With three kids in tow we were in no position to have a peaceful sit down lunch like civilized adults, so we did what the locals do and ate hot dogs from a convenience store.
It is truly a cultural and culinary experience not to be missed in Norway. Don't pity our visitors, the hot dogs are actually very high quality and delicious! Norway's original fast food.
Parliament
Parliament
We walked the entire length of the approximate one kilometer down Karl Johans gate, the main shopping street of Oslo, which leads from Oslo S to:
Royal Palace
Yes, Norway has a king and queen and no, they're not half as interesting as the British ones while simultaneously being twice as trashy. But we've got a pretty palace overlooking the city to show for it! Unfortunately we didn't see the changing of the guards, but it's a minor goal to see it once in my Norwegian life.
A funny thing about roaming in a pack of Australian citizens: you do not get far before somebody is demanding a stop for a coffee. Not just any coffee, though. A "good coffee", mind you.
Australia has not exported the information that they have the best coffee in the world, though they have [falsely] exported the information that every animal on the continent is dangerous and scary. It's bizarre! Their best kept secret.
And they are picky about their precious cuppa, and you don't live there for nearly a decade without becoming picky about it, too. Their (our) standards are very high, and I'm happy to report that Oslo coffee shops passed the snobby Aussie test. Bravo, Oslo! You are worthy of being classified as a livable place based on that fact alone.
And they are picky about their precious cuppa, and you don't live there for nearly a decade without becoming picky about it, too. Their (our) standards are very high, and I'm happy to report that Oslo coffee shops passed the snobby Aussie test. Bravo, Oslo! You are worthy of being classified as a livable place based on that fact alone.
Vigeland Sculpture Park
Located in the posh suburb of Frogner, Vigeland "nudie" Park is so nicknamed because it is a park filled with sculptures of nudes. Lots of T&A hanging out for all the world to see here, that you can fondle all you want!
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Entertaining story time: Clare, who has lived many years in Germany, mistook my nickname of "nudie park" to mean that it was an actual nudist park containing naked living humans. She was pleasantly surprised to learn that the nudes are, in fact, statues! Let me tell you those Germans never cease to entertain me!
The most famous sculptures here, by my estimation, are The Monolith, what I like to call the orgie tower:
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And Sinnataggen, a.k.a. The Angry Boy.
After our whirlwind day of touring in Oslo the group went in different directions, with the single ladies heading to different places on the west coast by train. We would reunite but it really was a game of musical visitors.
I think our trip back home from Oslo (a whopping 38 minutes) was Freya's first time on a train! She was amused.
Laura, BJ and "lille boy" (little boy), as Freya initially called their son Brady, came with us to our humble abode, where Martin fed them a spread of native delicacies. Literally.
There was whale, reindeer and moose meat on the menu. And chanterelle mushrooms, which are a local Norwegian autumn delicacy and so freaking good. We ate and drank and came dangerously close to soiling ourselves laughing, not unlike our pre-kids Ireland road trip together half a decade ago.
We spent our day together in Old Fredrikstad, about a half hour away, which is a fortified town, meaning that if you try to invade it you will get a cannon ball to the face.
The streets are made of cobblestones, which makes this place not exactly ideal for pram pushers such as myself. There's a (free!) ferry that goes across the fjord to get there and it's our go-to place for visitors when they're here. It's so scenic and a guaranteed stop for our international visitors.
Then Laura and BJ were off to a wedding in North Carolina, and the revolving door of visitors continued with Kim, or as Freya called her, Jim. I took Jim to Alby Gaard, a fjord-side farm and art gallery on the island of Jeloy in our town.
Like with the previous visitors we mainly just hung out, talked about life, and laughed ourselves silly. It had been nearly 2.5 years since we'd last been together, when we left Australia.
Saying goodbye to Kim was the hardest farewell back then, and that was no different with this batch of visitors. Months later Freya still asks about Jim, which is only fitting because without Jim and her hand-me-downs Freya would have been naked, sleeping on the floor and drinking milk out of a dog bowl from birth to age 1 year.
Saying goodbye to Kim was the hardest farewell back then, and that was no different with this batch of visitors. Months later Freya still asks about Jim, which is only fitting because without Jim and her hand-me-downs Freya would have been naked, sleeping on the floor and drinking milk out of a dog bowl from birth to age 1 year.
Finally it was time for Clare to come back from the west coast for her stay at our place until - oh shit - she reported that she tested positive for Covid-19, so she would stay in Oslo instead of coming to stay with us! But that wasn't going to stop me from seeing her before she moved on to her next Euro-fabulous destination, socially distanced of course.
Spoiler alert: I still got The Rona from her, despite our half-assed attempts at social distancing, but it was 100% worth it. We had a lovely, fun day in Oslo loitering over delicious Australian coffee and then loitering at what might be the greatest public library on earth.
Deichman
This is very ironic and possibly ignorant to say, but I think what makes this such an amazing library is a noticeable lack of books (LOL). It really is more of a hang out/meeting place for the public, with infinite innovative places for studying, meeting or, the theme of our day, loitering. There is even a whole floor for kids to run around, complete with pram parking.
So cool! It really is a sight to behold, and a fantastic use of public funds, and after this visit (my first) I recommend all visitors to Oslo check it out.
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