Team Fat Ass

You might be asking yourself, "How did she go from somewhat slim and svelte to that?"  The answer to that, my friends, is quite simple.  Allow me to take you on a culinary tour of Brisbane.

OMG I love Eat Street Markets!  I've briefly mentioned going there before, but I have since become obsessed with it.  Obsessed!  I want to go every single weekend, but Martin thinks that's a bit overkill.

It used to operate Friday and Saturdays only, from 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. but they have recently extended into all day Sunday - and it is even more magnificent than it was before!  The crowds are non-existent and it's a good alternative to your standard brunch, a popular Brizzy weekend activity.  Going to ESM instead of brunch costs about the same and you can try a lot more variety of stuff.  I love this place!

This is lángos, a Hungarian dish consisting of deep fried flat bread covered with bacon and cheese and stuff.  Lord have mercy; so tasty.  This was merely one of many dishes Martin and I shared that day.  Do you see why I love my ESM so much?!

Martin was recently moaning that we haven't done a nice dinner in Australia - a fancy, nice dinner.  We've done them in lots of other places, but haven't prioritized the budget for a fancy feast here in Oz.  When I got an invitation in my work email to a "wine dinner" I knew I could shut the boy up by taking him to that.

Brisbane's Customs House is a heritage-listed, super pretty building on the river that once served as a place where people actually came through customs when they arrived.  Now it's a venue for weddings and events, with an awesome view of the Story Bridge.

Despite appearances, he is actually thrilled to be there

We got a 5-course meal, and a matched wine with each course.

 
I wasn't expecting them to fill up the wine glass after I'd finished the first one!  So I got nice and drunk on a Wednesday and had to go to work the next day.  Classy dining at its finest!

Now for a dining experience of Martin's choosing, here is how a Brazilian "churrasco" restaurant works:

You sit, a guy brings roasted meat to your table on what appears to be a sword, and cuts you off a piece of the meat.  Rinse and repeat with several different types of meat.

Needless to say it is an awesome, fun style of dining, and perfect for those with more self control than me who adhere to a low carb diet.  Churrasco is certainly meat-tacular (and not vegetarian friendly)!

Did you know that bacon, as it's known in America, doesn't exist everywhere in the world?  Both the UK and Australia suffer this same tragedy, and finding what we call "bacon" isn't as easy as it should be.  But I found some!

"USA Bacon"

What they call bacon is what I'd call Canadian bacon.  Basically, it ain't bacon.  Much love to Super Butcher for making this prize pig (literally) available at a decent price.

You know what else is cool about Super Butcher?  The whole building is refrigerated, so they give you jackets at the front door to wear while you're shopping.

Kindly note that bare legs kind of negate the usefulness of the jacket.  I can't imagine how the workers survive in there!

Super Butcher is a meat emporium; they've got everything your carnivorous heart desires.  Martin is cutely enamored with the dry aging room room:

In addition to stuffing my face with it, I also enjoy learning about food.  BrisScience holds public lectures on science-y subjects, and occasionally covers a topic that I'm interested in.  "Scientist in the kitchen: How science is changing how we cook" is one such topic.

I knew I could get my friend Laura to come with me, as she's the biggest foodie I know.  Her long-neglected blog is a fun trip (literally and figuratively) around the world through food.

This lovely shot is Laura with a mouthful of steak, and my piece that was seconds away from mastication.  The scientist/cook cooked the steak with a sous-vide machine, which he seems to think is the future of cooking.  I don't care how it gets cooked, as long as it gets in my belly!

Since I no longer have the Food Network for inspiration I'm not nearly as adventurous in the kitchen as I once was (sad but true), but I still like to have fun in there sometimes.

As far as I can tell apple butter does not exist outside of the USA, so if you want it (as I do!) you have to take matters into your own hands.

It's actually quite simple!  All you need is a shitload of assorted apples, a few other ingredients, a stand mixer and a crockpot.  If you've got time to let the crockpot simmer, you can have apple butter.

The finished product

Ultimately I would rather eat all this awesome stuff than be super slim 'n sexy.  At the risk of getting my head chopped off, let me eat cake!