Svalbard

It's hard to put into words just how far north the island of Svalbard is, so I will put it in visuals and numbers:

Svalbard is closer to the North Pole than it is the Arctic Circle.  The town of Longyearbyen, where I visited, is at 78 degrees latitude.  Reykjavik, Iceland, by contrast, the northernmost capital city in Europe, sits at a mere 64 degrees.

It seems every single thing there is the most northern of its kind on the planet.  The northernmost settled town, commercial flight, brewery, daycare.  The northernmost misspelled baked potato food truck!

Similar to my trip to Mumbai, India five years prior, this was a work trip, but with a twist.  The college I work for does an annual travel course to Svalbard, but my tagging along with 11 students was on my own time and my own dime.

Sadly the only polar bears I saw were taxidermy'd, but that was fully expected since I didn't venture too far out into the wilderness.  But polar bears can come right up into town, so one must be prepared and watch their back at all times!

I was fascinated to learn that my hotel, the Radisson Blu Longyearbyen, previously lived in Lillehammer during the 1994 Olympics!

But how?!  And why?  I imagine little 'ol Lillehammer, where we visited at the end of last year, doesn't have quite the need for hotel rooms today as it did during the Olympics, but this solution fascinated me. 

We set out on a tour of town to get our bearings - not hard in a town with pretty much one street - and stock up on some provisions before the shop (singular) closed at 7 p.m.

But no bringing guns into the liquor store!

Guns are quite ubiquitous here, because of the aforementioned polar bears.  If you are going out of town, even a little ways, you are required to be packin'.  They even have lockers around town where you can store your gun while you shop, go to the post office, etc.

We had a big group dinner, our only one of the trip, where some exotic meats were on the menu:

I remain committed to my abstinence to whale, but some of the students braved it and this appeared to be dried or a whale jerky, which I thought was an interesting preparation method.  Though I personally never saw it on a menu I know some students also ate seal.

My first (and only) wildlife experience happened the very next morning at breakfast, with a reindeer grazing right outside my hotel:

Being isolated on an island, these reindeer are a fair bit smaller than the Rudolph-esque kind of the mainland, making them very adorable.  They are also very docile and relaxed, as evidenced by their wandering around town, unafraid of the people taking photos of them. 

Visit Svalbard Tourism Information Centre

Our first academic stop of the trip was the tourist information center:

We had one mandatory event for each of the three full days we were there, and students had a mandate to do "something else" each day with the 23 free hours available to them.

We had a sit down discussion with the CEO of Visit Svalbard to talk about the tourism landscape present and future, relations with their many Russian neighbors, and their role as the de facto government relations office, balancing the wants and needs of industry and tourism operators with the mandates handed down by the Norwegian government.

Which brings me to my next point: Svalbard is Norway, but it is very, very different from regular Norway.  Namely, the social welfare system here is non-existent.  You support yourself, or you're shipped out.  As any heavily taxed person who lives in Norway can tell you, this is night and day different.

Nobody is born on Svalbard.  Nobody dies on Svalbard - the medical system simply cannot handle either.  Though there is a "hospital", major medical procedures are handled in Tromso, a 1.5 hour flight away.  Taxes, both income and sales, are substantially lower.

Most interesting of all, one does not need a visa to live and work in Svalbard.  You just show up, regardless of citizenship, and you can stay indefinitely and work.  I don't think I've heard of this anywhere else in the world!  But on the flip side, living here doesn't earn you (or your kids) any right toward Norwegian permanent residency or citizenship. 

After Norwegians, who make up about half of the 2,600 population of Longyearbyen, the largest groups of people are Thai and Filipino.  There's something like 50+ citizenships represented in the population.  A truly fascinating place!

My two colleagues and I went to Cafe Huskies for lunch, an adorable concept where dogs just hang out around the joint.

This trip is the only time this year I will get time away, meaning get a break from my kids.  Five straight days of sweet, sweet peace.  Even if there were a few work elements, my main goal for the trip was to relax and veg out.  Behold, one of my favorite things ever, which I didn't know the hotel had until I arrived, the outdoor hot tub:

Alone!  With a beautiful view, and an outdoor temperature hovering around freezing.  It was truly magical.

I could have soaked all day long (if it were allowed, which it's not as there is a booking system and limited spots) but adventure awaited me.

Dog sledding

This was such a cool experience!  We first got to hang out with the dogs, while the guide got everything set up.

It is crazy how loud and energetic these dogs get when they feel that departure is imminent.  They live outside all year round, even in 30-40 below zero, and insanely they love it.

We drove 7km out of town, and 7km back in, therefore the guide had a rifle and flare gun strapped to his back - the flare being the first point of call if there is a run-in with a polar bear. 

I was a passenger on the guide's sled, which allowed me plenty of time to talk to him and ask questions about life in Svalbard, the dogs and his guiding experiences all over Svalbard.  I was too chicken to drive, but was happy as a clam to sit back, enjoy the scenery and learn a lot from this knowledgeable, adventurous French dude.

Fun fact: these dogs aren't huskies, they are Greenlanders.  They are slower than huskies, but strong and low maintenance.  The guide said huskies are Ferraris while Greenlanders are tractors, which sounds rather derogatory to me.

We were so lucky with the weather the entire trip, and especially dog sledding that runs regardless of weather.  It was hovering around freezing, as where previous trips the college has taken it was 20 below zero and windy.  

Svalbard Museum

Our second mandatory educational activity was a trip to the museum, which covers the history of Svalbard from its early days as a whaling outpost to its more recent, soon-to-be former, industry of coal mining.  The Norwegian government is putting the kibosh on that industry effective next year, but allowing the tiny nearby Russian settlement of Barentsburg to keep on keeping on with their mine.

There is no indigenous population, so when Arctic explorers came snooping around it was literally the first people to step foot there.  For most of history it was just polar bears, reindeer, birds, Arctic foxes and seals.

 

There are more snowmobiles than people on Svalbard.

Their license plates are different than the rest of Norway:

You need a passport to get on and off the island, as it is outside of the Schengen zone.

My second goal of the trip was to learn as much about this place as possible.  I am genuinely interested in learning about places when I visit them, and I feel like I excelled at that on this trip.  I was tempted to write a 3-page reflection paper like the students were required to, though quickly came to my senses as someone who is staunchly against any more formal education.

Longyearbyen in a Nutshell tour

This maxi taxi tour took us around town, telling us facts about Svalbard and stopping at various landmarks.  The polar bear sign at the edge of town was cool:

I bought a miniature one of these to keep in my office to always remind me of this trip while I'm slaving away at my desk (jokes, I really do love my job). 

We stopped to look at the coal railway, visible on the mountains above town, that could carry 700 kg (1,500+ pounds) of coal in each bucket:

Also visible in the mountains around town are avalanche fences.  Tragically two people uncomfortably similar to my family's demographics died when their house was buried by snow, not that many years ago.  I could have happily lived without that tidbit of information.

But the coolest thing we saw, and the absolute highlight of the whole trip, was a stop at the Global Seed Vault:

I could go on about this place for hours.  It is that cool!  In fact, I did just that with the students who were also on the tour, and again the next day when we had a group wrap-up meeting.

Basically, this place houses seeds from all around the world as a back-up copy, in case they are lost due to weather catastrophe, war or whatever else.  It is an insurance policy for regional "genebanks", of which there are 1,700+ in the world, who are tasked with keeping seeds safe and accessible to farmers, crop breeders and scientists.  But if those get destroyed, as they were in Syria a few years back, Svalbard will be there to bring the seeds back to life.  Literally! 

I am endlessly fascinated and I want everybody in the world to know about this place, and genebanks, and why they are so important.  Without seeds there is no agriculture, and without agriculture there is no us.  It is so important to back them up because crops go extinct all the time.  Once they're gone, they're gone forever. 

The plane ride there is one of the few child-less plane rides in the next few decades of my life, so I spent that peaceful time reading Seeds on Ice by Cary Fowler, the agriculturalist who had the idea for the seed vault in the first place.

If you order this book from a library in Norway you might just see this dork-ass picture of me that I taped inside the book, LOL!  I consider this benign vandalism, a victimless crime.

You can't go inside, as this is one of the most secure buildings in the world.  So the entrance is as far as we got to go, but that alone was worth it.  So, so worth it.

UNIS - University Centre in Svalbard

This conglomeration of various Norwegian universities is a major hub of Arctic research.  Students from undergraduate to PhD from all over the world study abroad here to take classes and do field work on Arctic-related subjects like glaciers and polar bears.

We talked to their head of media relations about their operations, and of course about life living and working on Svalbard.  Each person has such an interesting story to tell of how they wound up there.  Some of our students were interested in studying there but the subjects covered are exclusively in science, sadly nothing in the Humanities or Social Sciences, which our students gravitate towards (that and Business). 

The coolest thing we saw was their emergency kit that all groups have to take when out doing field work:

There are extra warm clothes and boots in here, a tent, cooking and fire making utensils, and who knows what else.  And don't forget your gun!

I thought this was funny.  Right here is storage of BYOGuns.  University issued guns - again, mandatory for anybody leaving city limits - are stored elsewhere.  A big part of the week-long orientation session for new students is marksmanship.  Pew pew!

I wrapped up my last day on Svalbard doing some of my favorite things in the whole world:

Drinking champagne in a hot tub, and thrift store shopping.

In that order - what a classy combination!

The greatest thrifting concept I've ever seen anywhere, Bruktikken (a combination of the Norwegian words for 'used' and 'store') is FREE!  Run by volunteers, they take in used items and "sell" them to the public. 

I felt bad taking from the island, where resources are limited, so I donated a wool blend sweater and (clean!) wool blend socks that I bought just for the trip, knowing the people of Svalbard need them more than my indoor dwelling self will in the future. 

The day we left, March 8, marks the first day each year that the sun reenters town.  On sunny days we could see the sun up in the mountains surrounding Longyearbyen, but it doesn't officially hit town until March 8.

There are several months of "polar night" per year, when the sun simply does not rise.  On the flip side, in the summer months, the sun never sets and is up 24/7.

I'm trying to think of a more unique place I have been in the world and am coming up blank.  Svalbard is so different from anywhere I've ever been and I'm very grateful to be a hanger-on with my college to a place I wouldn't normally go. 

It's crazy to think that this is, guaranteed, the farthest north I will ever travel on this pale blue dot!

2023: The Year of the Visitor

Our multi-visitor week in October was not the first or the last time we hosted visitors in 2023, which will go down in history as the best year of visitors ever.

Traveling with kids is no joke, so pro tip: host visitors to have the fun people and experiences come to you!

May: Thomas & Honor

I (foolishly) didn't do much blogging about our frequent, casual 4WD camping trips in Australia, but the few I did inevitably featured Thomas.

He was at our wedding, where he gave me the best wedding present I received, bar none, and possibly the best present I will ever receive in my entire life:

This business card that he actually gave to girls when he was in college!  I treasure this thing, literally.  I keep it with my kids birth certificates and if my house is ever on fire, this thing will be saved. 
 

Note I'm purposely not blurring out the number, because it's not his anymore, and I actively want people to call and plague the poor soul who currently has it.  After my wedding I drunkenly called the number and I'm hoping others will do the same, in search of this long-forgotten "International Playboy".  I die at the hilariousness of this! 

One girl did answer the call, his new wife Honor.  This work trip of his was timed just a few weeks after their wedding in Queensland, which we sadly missed out on. 

As is the norm for Thomas, his trip was short and sweet - 45 hours start to finish.  That boy would go through the Louvre at a dead sprint if he were going to visit, so we had to carefully curate our activities.

Gorging ourselves on top-notch Norwegian seafood was a top priority.  We cleared out the oceans while drinking wine and catching up on life in Australia.

We took the obligatory trip to Old Fredrikstad, where the guys got...creative...with the cannons:

No homo.  But mere seconds after this photo was taken, hilarity ensued.

Thomas slid off the back of the cannon and fell arse over tit (as we Aussies say) onto the ground.  It was so goddamn hilarious, and the photo really doesn't do his hilarious indignity justice.  Quite possibly the funniest thing that happened to me all year!

Where Thomas goes, funny antics follow.

July: Cath & Dan

Catherine and Uncle Dan are one of several sets of Baby Boomers who adopted us and Freya during our lives in Australia, especially during the pandemic when we were locked in Prison Australia. 

We visited them somewhat frequently in Australia, but as I mentioned earlier my blogging wasn't quite up to scratch in those carefree days of youth.  I also failed to blog, exactly one year prior, a visit by their actual niece Pia (with husband Ryan + two kids), due to my "delicate condition", mere weeks before I birthed Fiona (baby #2).

One thing I want the world to know is that I love hanging out with people my parents age, 70+ years old.  Their lifestyle precisely fits my desired lifestyle.  Midday naps!  British murder mysteries!  And most importantly, lots and lots and lots of Scrabble!

Catherine is the world's baddest bitch Scrabble player (note to Boomers whose lifestyle I aspire to have: that is a huge compliment).  She whoops my ass almost all of the time, especially on our near-constant Words with Friends games online, but despite my repeated defeat I still love playing with her, very much. 

We did pause our Scrabble games to go outdoors occasionally, this being the best month to be in Norway.  We met up with them at Frogner "nudie" park in Oslo, not for groping statue butts, but to attend the annual American 4th of July celebration that is held there. 

It's supposedly the largest 4th of July gathering outside of North America, but I'm skeptical of this claim.  I had never gone before and it was fun to be around so many of my people for the day, and bust out those adorable red, white and blue outfits!

Cath and Dan went off to the west coast to see proper Norwegian nature before returning to us, where we stayed at the seaside, conveniently located within driving distance of daycare, but just rural enough that you can drink in public without being arrested.

One evening at sunset, which in Norway in July is damn near midnight, Martin took our guests an hour inland for an amazing nature experience.

A moose safari!  Yes you heard that right.  A safari.  For moose!

I couldn't attend because somebody had to stay home with my damn wiener kids, so I entered my twentieth year visiting/living in Norway without ever having seen a moose.

And they saw like 25+!  A record number of sightings, according to the tour guide.  

The very first time I saw Fiona crawl in her entire life (at the ripe old age of 11 months) was towards Uncle Dan on this visit.

This is an early indication that I don't need to worry about the boys she goes after in the future.  She knows how to pick the quality ones!  Seriously, kid, keep up the good work.

December: Pieter & Erica

Our final visitors for the year rang in 2024 with us, and traveled the shortest distance of any of our visitors, from the Netherlands.

Pieter was an Edinburgh classmate of Martin's and is easily our most dedicated visitor/travel friend of anybody we know.  We have met up in Hong Kong, Brisbane, Barcelona, Mallorca, Istanbul and Bulgaria.  And that is to say nothing of the numerous dudes-only trips I was not a part of, or the many, many months he spent living with us in Brisbane when he'd travel for extended periods for work.  We have spent a lot of time with Pieter since meeting him back in 2010, and seeing all those visits typed out in one place is really quite incredible!

We picked them up at the airport and drove 2 hours away to a winter wonderland. 

Lillehammer, which you may remember from such Olympics as the 1994 Nancy Kerrigan vs. Tanya Harding feud.  I have such good memories of this time!  And am still salty, almost 30 years later, that Oksana Baiul won gold that year.

On the drive to Lillehammer I finally achieved a Norway bucket list.  I finally saw a moose!  

What I missed out on during the safari in July I made up for in a split second driving down the highway.  At first I thought they were cows, until my brain registered that cows wouldn't be in such a wild forest area.

I've seen that road sign hundreds of times, but no actual moose, and was starting to think they were mythical creatures like trolls.  It was a great way to kick off our visit, even if the excitement only lasted a fraction of a second and, as such, no photographic evidence exists.

Their daughter is almost exactly 1 month older than Fiona, so I hope they grow up to be the best of friends and attend many exotic destination weddings like we have enjoyed.

We spent our days doing what we could to entertain the kids.  This included a trip to the Maihaugen open air museum, where I got my first up-close experience with a Norwegian stave church:

This thing was built in the 1200's, which is over 800 years ago!  That is insane!

This place would be [much] better in the summer, I think, as I didn't really get a feel for what I was seeing or why it was interesting.

Plus pushing a pram in this level of snow was no walk in the park.  So thankfully right inside is the Norwegian Olympic Museum.

Yay!  Let the games begin!  

Expectation: I want to see a day-by-day timeline of the Kerrigan vs. Harding drama.  Hell, I want to see the crowbar!  And a bloodied ice skate!

Reality: Not so much as a wide shot photo of Kerrigan nor Harding.  Not a single word!  About the greatest sporting scandal of all time!  All around disappointment.

There were a limited number of bright spots, though, including a wall of Olympic torches:

Including the one from Berlin 1936 (far left, down low, silver).  

There were a small number of interesting installations at this museum, but I can assure you Norway's skiing uniforms in the 21st century are not in the top 500 most interesting things that could have been here.  Just give the people [me] what they want [the crowbar]!

As is our custom with friends traveling with kids, we segregated by gender and swapped going out one night with taking care of the kids.

One night you get steak and champagne out on the town, and the next you get to drink boxed wine in your darkened hotel room from a paper cup!  I find this system quite brilliant and I encourage everybody to try it out.

We then drove back to Oslo for New Years Eve, and a rocking wild party.

Traditional Norwegian cuisine, followed by fireworks on TV (and out the window) at midnight.  

We did get outside over the next few days to see what we could of Oslo, though it was no easy feat with two prams containing 18-month-olds, after the recent snow "storm" Oslo received:

We hung out at a lot of cafes - I love Norway for letting kids sleep in their pram outside unsupervized - and took in the Opera House, though in this weather it was nowhere near as spectacular as it was in October:

You couldn't even walk onto the roof this time of year. 

Generally our priority was to just hang out, catch up and bitch about parenting.  We didn't even make it to Vigeland Park to showcase the nude statues, but that's Ok.  Those nudie butts will be there next time.  

I am so grateful for all the visitors we had in 2023; it really was a banner year for visitors!

Six sets of visitors to our little slice of northern Europe.  Are they coming to see us or are they coming to see Norway?  I don't even care!  But we're so awesome I bet they're coming just to see us.